Friday, January 29, 2010

New Year, New Me

Resolutions. The very thought can be dreadful when you are coming down off the high of the winter holidays, but the process is so essential to our existence, isn’t it? Sure, come January 1st, everyone resolves to lose weight, quit a bad habit, or the like. Not to belittle such resolutions, but I believe that if one is truly self-reflective, then she searches deep within on a regular basis and adjusts as is necessary.

The process of self-awareness and growth takes much effort. Sometimes I do not like what I see when I take an honest look at myself. I tend to have quite a viperous tongue and sometimes let my internal dialogue be heard. Not good. I am so much a Type A personality that I do not have patience for those who are the opposite and seemingly waste my time. I often focus on helping others to the point that I neglect myself and to the point that I become used. In turn, I get mad at myself for letting myself get taken advantage of by others. And, of course, I could lose weight.

It is easy to get caught in a spiral of self-scolding. While you need to stop and honestly see who you have become, you also need to take time to count your strengths. After assessing both sides with equal vigor, you can then set your intentions of what specific things you wish to manifest for yourself because you can clearly see how those things would make your life better.

I care so deeply for those whom I love that I want to help them in every way possible. I want to make their destinies come true, but one of my life lessons is to realize that we all have to travel our own paths. By embracing all that I need to do to become a better person, my soul will recognize its gift from God. In turn, not only will I grow, but those loved ones around me will benefit as well. Sounds easy when written on paper, but hard to remember.

So, what do I need to do at this moment? It is my intention to be a better wife to Peter as he is my whole world. Therefore, I will be patient with him and use kinder words in moments of anger. It is my intention to be a better mother as Katherine and Phillip are also my whole world. I will exercise more patience and understanding. I will become the type of person I want them to become – patient, loving, compassionate, intelligent, moral, ethical. It is my intention to provide for my family so that we never have financial worries. I will earn a promotion while teaching my children the importance of saving.

What do you see when you look deep within? What do you truly want to manifest for yourself? How will you make it happen?